Standing in the Light
by Merusa
Summary: *temporarily discontinued* James Harold Potter's life takes a strange turn at the start of his 7th year when a letter from the father he never knew is given to him by his mother, Ginny. James has to come face with who he really is, and what he must do.
1. Prologue: Don't Leave

"Standing in the Light"  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own nor pretend to own Harry Potter or any companies and/or people associated with the series. This story is being written for my own amusement. I also have no affiliation with the Dear America book under the same name as this fanfiction. The title just worked!  
  
Prologue: Don't Leave  
  
"Viva Forever, I'll be waiting, Everlasting. Like the sun. Live forever, For the Moment, Ever Searching, For the sun."  
  
~Spice Girls, "Viva Forever" (from when they were good...)  
  
Swallowing hard, Harry turned around and faced the three most important people in his life. He was shivering, though it was reasonably warm out. He swallowed again, just wishing it was easier, wishing he had found another spell, anything.  
  
"I have to do this. You guys, better than anyone, know I have to do this." His wife of a few months, Ginny, shook her head, crying, and his two best friends, Ron and Hermione, looked shocked.  
  
"It's too sudden, Harry, you can't leave!" Hermione said. He eyes were shining oddly.  
  
"Mate, you can't leave us like this," Ron intoned, incredibly pale, "especially when the only bloody spell you have means you'll die!"  
  
Harry glanced around at their faces. They didn't understand what he was going through at all! He was only eighteen years old, and he had feared death every day since his fifth year. He'd found true love, and a family. But, Voldemort didn't care. Voldemort had killed Hagrid, Albus, Charlie, Minerva, Arabella, and countless others, all because of him. He sighed, knowing that he couldn't make them understand.  
  
He laughed harshly, suddenly, at the irony of it. He was dying when he had what he wanted, when he had lived in jealousy. "You don't understand. You've known this was coming for months!" He stopped himself. Now wasn't the time to rant, to rave, to break down the barriers that blocked him for years. Now was the time for good-byes.  
  
It wasn't fair.  
  
Swallowing again, he walked up to Hermione. "Mione, you are my sister. I love you and thank you for everything you've done for me..." he trailed off, knowing it wasn't enough. She sobbed and threw her arms around his neck, fully crying now. He returned the embrace shakily, still not completely used to hugs. Hermione kissed his cheek before letting him go, sobbing. He couldn't face her again. He'd never see her face again...  
  
He turned to the best friend he'd ever had. "Ron...." There weren't any words. For once, and only once, Ron abandoned his dignity and pulled his best mate into a hug. Harry was now fighting back tears, but refused to cry. Pulling away, he whacked Ron in a brotherly way on the back, and turned to the last person in the room. Turned his back to his best friend....  
  
Closing the short distance between them, Ginny ran and collapsed against him, sobbing uncontrollably. Harry was sure that he was crying now, and found that he didn't care. Smiling slightly, he softly sang some of the words to their song. "I don't wanna close my eyes....." She laughed softly. He smiled. "You know I have to go."  
  
"I know. But..." She sobbed. He wished she would stop crying....he laid a hand on her stomach. "Make him happy."  
  
He kissed her one more time, and pulled away, knowing that if he didn't leave now, he never would be able to. He glanced at her one more time, glad their good-bye, at least, had already been said.  
  
Pulling two letters out of his pocket, he handed them to her, fighting back more tears. One letter was addressed to Sirius, and the other was addressed to "James". He looked into Ginny's eyes, one more time, and said, "Give that to Sirius, and the other one to James when he is of age. Tell them..." he voice cracked. He tried again. "Tell them I'm sorry."  
  
Hermione gasped slightly as the full implication of Harry's words hit. But, it was too late. Harry had already turned, pulled his wand out, and was walking out the door.  
  
Ginny let the tears fall, watching the one man she'd always trusted walk away, not bothering to close the door behind him. She walked to the doorway. "Harry, don't leave me now," she whispered, though he couldn't hear her, "you can have a family. Forget Voldemort," she kept on speaking, still crying softly, "you can stay with me, and our child."  
  
He disappeared into the foggy night.  
  
~*~  
  
Author's Note: Welcome to my new story! I promise to finish this one, but I don't know how often updates will be, as I'm very busy with school. I promise this will get better after the prologue! I even have a guy's POV of certain situations- I asked my friend. Chapters will be longer than this! I doubt I will finish this before book 5 comes out, but I'll just change it to an A/U (alternate universe) fic if necessary. Do review, and tell me what you think so far! I hope to have chapter one up by the end of the week.  
  
~Merusa 


	2. Chapter 1: King’s Cross

"Standing in the Light"  
  
Disclaimer: If the Harry Potter series actually belonged to me, why the heck would I be posting it here?  
  
A/N: Constructive criticism is much appreciated! I haven't written anything but school reports in a very long time, so I need to know what to change, and what is good, if anything.  
  
This chapter may start off kind of slow. It's like an intro, ya know? It will get interesting, I promise!  
  
This chapter is dedicated to a friend of mine, who will never need this and will never know that a character is based entirely on him. Cheers, my friend.  
  
Chapter 1: King's Cross  
  
"To see a world in a grain of sand, And heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour."  
  
-Angelina Jolie (as Lara Croft), Tomb Raider  
  
A name can be fear.  
  
With the death of You-Know-Who, so came the death of the Boy Who Lived. A hush fell over the Wizarding world, which had long argued and put down Harry for everything he'd done.  
  
Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.  
  
Fear driven, the wizards and witches took a silent vow- they'd never speak the name of Voldemort or Harry Potter again. Harry's family wouldn't be Harry's family- they were to be the Potters, who had simply lost a father and a husband. Mrs. Potter had no family of her own, either- she had done too much, lost too much. A generation passed down a whispered tale, which followed a young boy who knew nothing of it his entire life. Peace reined supreme, and people were breathing again.  
  
Peace is nothing.  
  
~*~  
  
The darkness beckoned to him- the warmth, the safety, and the peace....the comfort. Rough hands shook his shoulders, over and over, trying to draw him away from the consolation of the darkness. He fought the power of the hands, the authority. He buried himself deeper and deeper, trying to escape.  
  
A voice broke finally broke through his reverie.  
  
"JAMES HAROLD POTTER, GET YOUR LAZY ARSE OUT OF THAT BED!"  
  
James groaned and rolled over, blinking at the sunlight that was streaming into his room. He groped for his glasses, put them on, and looked, in pure annoyance, at his mother.  
  
"Mum, its 6:00 in the bloody morning! Why the hell are you waking me up?"  
  
Ginny glared at him with all the venom she could muster. "Watch your tone of voice, young man! For your information, the Hogwarts Express is taking your to your 'bloody' seventh year at 11:00, and WE WILL NOT BE LATE AGAIN!" Stomping out of his room, Ginny flew downstairs to prepare their muggle car.  
  
His muscles groaning in protest, James dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom. He splashed some cool water on his face....immediately realizing that he had forgotten to remove his glasses before doing so. Pulling the annoying, now soaked, spectacles off his face, he glanced at his reflection. A boy of seventeen looked back at him, his right eye a vivid emerald, his left eye a warm chocolate brown. He automatically tried to flatten his untidy black hair. The mirror cheerfully reminded him that it was a losing battle. The natural red highlights he had gotten from his mother stood out, unusually vibrant from the glaring summer sun.  
  
After finishing his daily routine, James darted back into his bedroom, having forgotten to pack once again.  
  
~*~  
  
Ginny looked at her reflection.  
  
Seventeen years...it had been seventeen years. How old was she again? 34? 35? Not even she remembered. Her once vivid red hair was streaked with gray from stress. The warm brown eyes she once harbored were dull and darkened, and contained a hardness that few people gathered from their entire life. She had been Ginny Weasley, fiery fiancé of the Boy-Who-Lived, sock snatcher extraordinaire. Now, she was Virginia Potter, quiet widow, with sensible clothes and a forgotten family, except for a seventeen year old son. The only part of herself from the old Ginny was her explosive temper.  
  
Ginny fingered the thick envelope that she had retrieved from her 'treasure' chest only the day before. She bit her lip hard, struggling in her own mind. Coming to a decision, she slipped the letter into her pocket, and went to tell off her son for forgetting to pack. Something hit her in the leg, and she paused, before picking up the letter that had been attached to James's envelope. She shivered, though the room was quite warm, at the sight of the handwriting that spelled out her name.  
  
Opening the letter, she read the words hungrily. When she was finished, she read it again, and then rested her head in her hands, struggling with the sobs that threatened to engulf her.  
  
She had to give her son the letter- now.  
  
~*~  
  
"OIY! OH JAMESIE-POO!"  
  
James and Ginny looked up towards the call. Having just entered platform 9¾, James was not surprised to hear the holler.  
  
Two flustered looking young adults ran up. One had tame, black hair (that seemed almost blue in certain lighting) pulled swiftly back into a braid. Her gray eyes were glittering mischievously. The other had light red hair, a book tucked under his arm, and intelligent looking blue eyes that held a hint of rebellion. The boy had a few good inches on James, and the girl was a good head shorter then him. James grinned back at his two best friends, Jeremy Seymour and Selena Median. They grinned backed. The latter greeted him loudly.  
  
"Bloody good to see you, Jimmy!"  
  
The boy next to her started. "Selena! Language!"  
  
"Jeremiah! Grow up!"  
  
"DON'T CALL ME JEREMIAH!"  
  
"OK, Jeremiah."  
  
Ginny rolled her eyes at James, who, in turn, grinned at his mother. She got a bit teary eyed. "Oh, my little boy's going off to his seventh year at Hogwarts...I remember when I was still changing your diapers...."  
  
He scowled at her, quite aware that she was only trying to embarrass him. Selena and Jeremy didn't pause in their bickering. She gave him a small smile and a hug, pecking him on the cheek. "Have fun, now, James. Don't get into too much trouble!"  
  
James nodded his promise, and, grunting slightly, picked up his trunk. His snowy owl, Aurora, hooted at him in a dignified way before closing her eyes again. He glanced at his mother, temporarily forgetting his arguing best friends, and noticed that she seemed to be suffering from some sort of internal struggle. Before he could question her, however, the train let off a huge blast of steam and whistled.  
  
He grinned. "Bye, Mum. I'll owl you soon."  
  
Ginny nodded slightly, and reached into her pocket. She pulled out a white envelope, and pressed it into his (slightly) free hand.  
  
He pushed his trunk and Aurora's cage into the compartment before examining the letter. "What's this?"  
  
She shook her head. "Just go!" He started, and jumped onto the train. Selena slammed the door behind him just in time.  
  
The Hogwarts Express pulled away from the station, whistle blasting.  
  
~*~  
  
A few minutes later, James was sitting in an empty apartment with his two best friends. Jeremy already had his nose burrowed in his copy of "Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts: CONSANT VIGILANCE! A Guide by Retired Auror Alastor Moody".  
  
Selena looked up from her comfortable position, sprawled out on an empty seat. "What's that you've got, Jimmy?"  
  
James had been turning the envelope around and around in his hands. He paused before answering. "I'm not sure. My mom just- handed it to me. It says my name on it."  
  
Jeremy closed his book with a 'snap!' as Selena sat up fully. "Well, go on then, open it!"  
  
James flipped it over again, considering it. He didn't recognize the slight messy handwriting on the front. He pulled out his wand to use a letter opening charm, when the compartment door slid open.  
  
Jeremy's younger sister, Veronica, a sixth year, slipped into the compartment. Her red hair was pulled half back, and her own blue eyes looked tired. But, she smiled, and it reached her eyes.  
  
James fought a blush. He wouldn't blush. He wouldn't blush...  
  
James offered a silent prayer to whatever deity had took mercy on him as a familiar singing voice drifted down the corridor amidst cheering that grew louder and louder.  
  
"Gimme gimme gimme a maaaaaaaaan after midnight..."  
  
Veronica plopped down in the seat next to him, crossing her legs. 'I will not blush, I will not blush...' James chanted. He would not have a crush on his best friend's sister. He wouldn't. He couldn't.  
  
The compartment door was flung open, and the source of the singing was revealed. A platinum blonde boy stepped into the compartment, finishing his song with a flourish. Jeremy made a noise of impatience, but joined the rest of them when they began clapping.  
  
Dean Malfoy bowed happily. But, before he could speak, the compartment was interrupted.  
  
"Well, Well, Well." Dean's twin, Devin Malfoy, walked into the compartment, flanked by his constant companions, Jonathan Goyle and Robert Crabbe. "It's Potty, the Dork, the slut, slut 2, and the loser. The gang's all here."  
  
James was on his feet, letter forgotten; wand out, before the words had completely left Devin's mouth. "Leave. Now." The explosive temper he had inherited from his mother was shining true once again. Jeremy and Selena stood up behind him, ready to grab his robes in case he tried to curse Malfoy.  
  
Dean and Devin, though obviously twins, could not be more different. Dean was a Gryffindor, Devin, a Slytherin. Dean took the stereotype of who he was to new levels. Devin used his name and his father's name to get what he wanted. Dean didn't like playing quidditch, but Devin always played to show off the newest broom Daddy had brought him. There father didn't like Dean.  
  
Devin looked straight into James's eyes. He spoke swiftly, and quietly enough that they just barely heard his words.  
  
"You don't know, about any of it. But, I do. I know so much. What he worked so hard against- it's back. It's on your shoulders now. Knock, knock, Potter. Reality's going bye-bye. Your heritage is catching up with you."  
  
In the blink of an eye, the three Slytherins were gone.  
  
~*~  
  
A little while later, they were sitting in the compartment, pondering at Devin's words. Or, rather, James was. Jeremy, Veronica, and Selena seemed to have an idea of what Devin meant, but weren't sharing. Dean, who had seemed completely unfazed by the incident, had left a few minutes ago, singing his new song choice, by request: "My baby does the hanky- paaanky..."  
  
James was lost in thought. What had he meant? It had to be obvious, glaring at him right in the face. He considered Devin's last words: "Your heritage is catching up with you".  
  
Suddenly, a thought occurred to James....his dad. Did it have something to do with his dad?  
  
James knew nothing of his father; only that his name had been Harry, he'd been a powerful wizard, and he had died before James was born.  
  
The letter! It had to be from his dad. He didn't even notice that he held the other people in the room's rapt attention as he nearly tore the envelope in two to begin reading the letter.  
  
"Dear James...."  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: FINISHED! BTW, part of Devin's line is taken from "The Matrix": "Hang on, Dorothy, 'cause Kansas is goin' bye-bye." It's said by Cyrus (spelling?) in the movie. 


End file.
